At the start of sexual union keep attentive on the fire in the beginning, and so continuing, avoid the embers in the end.
- Two opposed orgasms: the ordinary peak orgasm (excitement climbs to ejaculation → energy lost → negative relaxation, i.e. weakness mistaken for rest, and a ‘fall’ afterward); the tantric valley orgasm (excitement is only the entry door, then both partners descend into deep relaxation together). The sutra is entirely about choosing the valley. Marker it worked: you rise rather than fall — feel filled, vital, radiant, and the ecstasy lasts for hours or even days.
- ‘Fire in the beginning’ = the warm, fully charged state of initial union. ‘Embers in the end’ = the post-ejaculation collapse. The instruction: stay in the beginning; erase the end as a goal. Do not seek ejaculation — forget it completely.
- Three geometrical meetings (the old alchemical/tantric picture): Square — four persons meet, because each partner is already split into thinking-part and feeling-part; no real communion. Triangle — a momentary peak of oneness when excitement crests, then falls away. Circle — the tantric meeting: no angles, non-temporal, both partners dissolving into a continuous energy circuit. The circle is possible only when ejaculation is not sought.
- How to stay in the circle: both partners relax in each other’s embrace — no movement needed except when erection is about to be lost, then gentle movement, then relax again. This can last hours. The two opposite-pole (positive–negative) bio-energies renew each other in deep relaxation; nothing is lost, energy is gained.
- This is not control — control creates tension → tension creates a need to release → peak. ‘Unhurriedness’ comes from having no goal: treat the act as a morning walk, not a commute to the office. Play — do not ‘do the sex act’; just be with the other and let it unfold (it may or may not happen).
- Practical pointers (from Q&A): breathe slowly, not fast — fast breathing feeds excitement and pulls toward the peak. Close eyes. Don’t talk. Just feel the other’s energy flowing toward you and melt. The old habit of expecting ejaculation will make the valley feel like ‘missing something’ for the first few weeks; do not force non-ejaculation — just relax. Within three to four weeks the valley begins to appear.
- What actually delivers the ecstasy (it is not friction or ejaculation per se): (1) timelessness — past and future vanish, only the present moment is real; (2) egolessness — neither partner exists as a separate entity; (3) naturalness — you float in the cosmic current. Because the bliss comes from these, skipping the peak loses nothing.
- The long arc: tantra is not indulgence — sex is a jumping point, the beginning and not the end. Through prolonged union the act becomes less and less sexual and more and more meditative, a samadhi. True brahmacharya (celibacy) is not achieved by fighting sex but by moving through it until sex simply disappears — not by your decision but by its own transcendence.